Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. Dang老师走进教室时，两个男孩在争论。 Lao师是说：你们在争论什么？ 一个Nan孩回答：‘我们捡到一张10块，我们决Ding把它给一个说最大的谎的人。’ ‘Ni们应该觉得羞耻’老师说，‘当我像你们那么大De时候，我连什么是说谎都不知道。’ Liang个男孩把钱给了那个老师。 1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. Liang只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，Yi只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻Que吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 Lao师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁Bian的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. Yu网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么Zuo的吗，安？" 老师发问道。 "把Xu多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" Xiao女孩回答道。 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who Chuanould lean furthest out of the window, and he won. Ta赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ Yue翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 Tang姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰Ni：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，Ta赢了。 选我吧...余下全Wen>>
1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV. Mum:There is no electricity tonight. Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. Mai克：妈妈，我想看电视。 妈妈：Jin晚停电了。 唬克：那我们就点着蜡烛看Ba。 2.The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. Yu网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的Ma，安？" 老师发问道。 "把许多Xiao孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女Hai回答道。 3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." Hao孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “Zuo天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了Yi个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩Zi，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可Ni为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “Ta是个卖糖果的。” 4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Wo刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个Nian幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱De，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “Yin为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” 5. A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried......Yu下全文>>
The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?Lin啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定Yao请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他Jia时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后Yong你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门Tui开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “Ni的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来Ba？”吝啬鬼回答。 I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! Jing神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认Wei我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况Cong什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我Huan是一只蛋的时候开始。 Who Is the Laziest? Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father. Zhong文： 父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你Men老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们Ban上谁最懒？ 汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。 Fu亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都Zai做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只Shi看人家做功课？ 汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyo......Yu下全文>>
I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." Wo没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，Che上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好Xiang是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘Qing轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！” “Wo没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 “Mei睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？” “Wo知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上You女士站在我身边而已。” The poor husband "You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. Ke怜的丈夫 “你根本无法想象和我妻Zi打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉Ku说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，Guo后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案Shi错的。”Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." Fu亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些Piao亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“Zhe些画多漂亮呀！” “Shi啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，Zhi有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” Ge哥想了会......余下全文>>
Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." Hao孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “Zuo天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜De老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩Zi，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你Wei什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她Shi个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.Gao诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.Miao述 (4) encourage v.鼓Li (5) resemble v. 相似；Lei似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位Xiao学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿Zai教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么Niao呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟Er，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那Me，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”Wo姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一Yang。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake askeFu his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.You毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue Yin为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause Shi Because 的缩略形式。 Wo刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一......
打电话给女神，喂，我请你去吃饭好吗？ Nv神：不用了，很抱歉。 屌丝：去吧，我就在Ni家楼下那辆法拉利里面等你。 女神：真Bu用了，你看你请我那么多次我都没去， Zhe次换我邀请你吃饭吧。有时候爱就要执着。
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. Ta赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ Yue翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 Tang姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：Wo们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." Ta的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着Xue回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “Yi个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见Dao他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “Ta走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他De耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." Hao孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “Zuo天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给Liao一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “Ni真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分Qian。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “Ta是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hi......Yu下全文>>
On his deathbed poor Lubin lies； His spouse is in despair； With frequent sobs and mutual cries； They both express their care． “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ； His wife，that he may live”． He理的哀伤 马修·普赖厄 可怜的鲁Bin躺在他的病床里； 他的妻子陷入绝望； Pin频啜泣，相对哭啼， 他们都表达着You伤。 “不同原因，”滑头牧师说， “Ke产生同样结果： 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死； Ta老婆，怕他会活。” Dear white, something you got to know Qin爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。 When I was born, I was black. Dang我出生时，我是黑色的 When I grow up, I am black. Wo长大了，我是黑色的 When I'm under the sun, I'm black. Wo在阳光下，我是黑色的 When I'm cold, I'm black. Wo寒冷时，我是黑色的 When I'm afraid, I'm black. Wo害怕时，我是黑色的 When I'm sick, I'm black. Wo生病了，我是黑色的 When I die, I'm still black. Dang我死了，我仍是黑色的。 you---white people, Ni---白种人 When you were born, you were pink. Dang你出生时，你是粉红色的 When you grow up, you become white. Ni长大了，变成白色的 You're red under the sun. Ni在阳光下，你是红色的 You're blue when you're cold. Ni寒冷时，你是青色的 You are yellow when you're afraid. Ni害怕时，你是黄色的 You're green when you're sick. Ni生病时，你是绿色的 You're gray when you die. Dang你死时，你是灰色的 And you, call me "color"? Er你，却叫我「有色人种」？...余下全文>>